This is True Love

Love is gentle and kind.

Love is gentle and kind.

 

As a 60-something great-grandma, I am often struck by how different love seems to me now, compared to when I was a younger woman. When I was young, I equated love to red hot fiery passion. And I was badly burned as a result.

Today, this is what true love means to me:

Love endures with patience and serenity, love is kind and thoughtful, and is not jealous or envious; love does not brag and is not proud or arrogant. It is not rude; it is not self-seeking, it is not provoked [nor overly sensitive and easily angered]; it does not take into account a wrong endured. It does not rejoice at injustice, but rejoices with the truth [when right and truth prevail]. Love bears all things [regardless of what comes], believes all things [looking for the best in each one], hopes all things [remaining steadfast during difficult times], endures all things [without weakening]. Love never fails [it never fades nor ends]…. ~1 Corinthians 13:4-8a, Amplified Bible

And now there remain: faith [abiding trust in God and His promises], hope [confident expectation of eternal salvation], love [unselfish love for others growing out of God’s love for me], these three [the choicest graces]; but the greatest of these is love. ~1 Corinthians 13:13, Amplified Bible

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❤ ❤ Happy Valentine’s Day. ❤ ❤

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Posted in Christianity, True Love, Valentines Day | 3 Comments

PTSD Re-traumatization and Self Isolation

https://healmycomplexptsd.files.wordpress.com/2015/08/cptsd_bridge_640.jpg

This post, written by Annie on her Gentle Kindness blog, is one of the best explanations I’ve ever read on the reasons why close relationships are often difficult for people with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.

My husband and I were both diagnosed with PTSD before we met in 2003 when we were in our fifties. We had each gone through the devastating heartbreak of multiple failed relationships prior to meeting, and we had both given up hope of ever having a good, lasting, loving relationship. We are so thankful that God, in His infinite grace and mercy, had a different plan for our lives.

In this wonderfully insightful post, Annie writes:
“People who have PTSD or C-PTSD from abuse were invalidated as part of the abuse process. Their emotions were minimized, disregarded and made fun of.

To have someone close to you minimize your PTSD, or disbelieve you is re-traumatizing. It puts the victim into an emotional flashback of their perception of reality being intentionally altered.”

This is SO TRUE. If you or someone you care about has been diagnosed with PTSD, I hope you will read the rest of what Annie has to say on the subject of PTSD, Re-Traumatization, and Self Isolation.

GentleKindness

PTSD is a term most people have heard, but often they do not really know what it means.

If you tell someone you have PTSD it is hard for them to know what you mean by that, unless they have it themselves or maybe they have a close friend or family member with it.

People with PTSD have trouble with relationships, but not for the reasons people think.

Once you have been traumatized, and repeatedly re-traumatized, it becomes very isolating.

People with PTSD can be re-traumatized by people who do not understand, and by people who are more concerned with their own agenda than really understanding.

When someone with PTSD has certain triggers, and explains those triggers to someone, it is important that they are validated and respected.

A person that intentionally uses your triggers against you is not someone you can be around at all, or have any kind…

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Posted in abusive relationships, Aging with PTSD, Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Complex PTSD, Developmental PTSD, domestic violence, Healing PTSD, Husband and Wife with PTSD, Marital Relationship, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, PTSD, Self Esteem, severe childhood trauma, Trauma, Trauma Triggers | 8 Comments